Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
