i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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