it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
