Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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