I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
