Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
