My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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