Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He passed out mid-signature
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
