dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
