My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
