If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
