Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
