I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
