One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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