all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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