My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
