did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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