I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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