do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Randomize
