I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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