Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
