My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so that wasnt chicken after all
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
