I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
