this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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