And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
