I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
