I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
