yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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