OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
