Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
