if you like me you must not know who I am
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
