it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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