he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
