It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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