I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
