so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize