I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
