And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
