Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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