let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
