Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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