I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
