She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
