and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's blow job season.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
