I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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