My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
