The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
