i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
