I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
