i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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